Knocking on

I don’t trust anyone who claims not to care about ageing. To be clear I’m not suggesting all women should run around injecting themselves with blood from baby goats because they’ve been told it’s the latest way to zap wrinkles. Ageing is going to happen, it’s time to face facts and do the best you can with what you’ve been given. No, what sets my teeth on edge are the people who claim not to think about it. “Oh no, doesn’t enter my head,” they trill. “I live in the moment, who cares about tomorrow.” Well I do, when my moment involves staring at the growing number of laughter lines around my eyes in the mirror.

But it’s not just about appearances, and that’s why I don’t believe those people. Of course we all notice the flashes of grey in our hair, the slight sagging around the jawline or have to face the stark realisation that our waistlines can’t get away with living off biscuits anymore. Time to be honest – we all knew that time would come.

For me, getting older crops up in other ways which I didn’t always think about and that’s why I don’t believe those who claim it never occurs to them. I expected not to want to be out at clubs every night as the years wore on and I suspected there’d come a time when I wasn’t that up for 2am drinking sessions on school nights. Other things caught me unawares.

I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner and drinks on Friday night, but we rescheduled because we’d both had manic weeks and weren’t feeling that sociable. When did that become a thing? Who knew a time would come when the best way to cope with a stressful week was going home and watching recorded episodes of Scandal rather than meeting friends to mainline vodka? That one took me unawares.

And then there are Sundays. Ah, Sundays. They used to be just another weekend day, another opportunity to go out for drinks or see friends. But no more. Now they are a day to catch up on housework, plan what’s coming for the next five days and basically stay at home. Always at home. Leaving the house on a Sunday means monumental effort and that I’ll probably be tired for Monday, especially as my sleep pattern is ruined what with staying up past midnight on Saturday…

You see? Getting older isn’t just about your face. So many other things change too. Maybe in part the saying about becoming happy with yourself if true, maybe that’s why we stop making so many plans as the years go by. I don’t care if people think it’s weird that I’m home on a Friday. I’m tired. And I’m old – and yes I do think about it.

Posted on: February 2, 2015, by : hannahferrett

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